


Vagabond; Derelict

by PastelPrinceling



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Drugs, Fake AH Crew, Guns, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-30 06:09:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5153150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelPrinceling/pseuds/PastelPrinceling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The newest member of the crew is a little wet behind the ears. He's good at what he does, but he's naive and too sincere. Determined to help him learn the ropes, the crew finds he's not quite as green as he seems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vagabond; Derelict

The gun in his face was something he should have expected. Even still, it took him off guard. With a heart fluttering hard in his chest, a caged bird frantic to escape, he stumbled over words, falling from his tongue quickly, “H-he-hey, I-I thou-thought this was cool. I th-thought-”

“Hey, hey, hey! Put the gun away, jesus Michael. Come on.” A tattooed hand shot forward despite the threat the gun posed and lowered it quickly. He followed through and pushed Michael’s shoulder, backing him away from the scared kid in the chair.

Ray had only seen a barrel, and that had been more than enough for him, but once lowered, he saw it was just a little pistol. Something easy to hide, something easy to draw. He didn’t stop shaking though, no way. He looked between the man who’d invited him in and the man who’d drawn the gun on him, eyes wide. 

He’d nearly been shot just now.

“Geoff, seriously?! You gotta warn some of us before you ask us to a meeting and there’s someone here and you’re dicking around in the back. I thought-”

“God, what did you think? Did you think I was taken hostage or some shit? Come on Michael, look at him.” Geoff gestured to Ray, reaching to pick up one of his arms, wiggling it around a little before he dropped it heavy back into his lap, Ray still mostly limp with fear. “He’s a twig and a half if he’s lucky.”

He trailed off muttering about the boss taken hostage by a twink, shaking his head and grumbling quietly.

“How was I supposed to know?” Michael’s was high, gesturing to him, “Message the others right now, let them know he’s here before someone who’s got more an itchy trigger finger than me gets here.”

Geoff turned around quickly, an angry laugh on his lips, “Oh ho ho, that’s not even a thing, Michael. Nobody’s quicker to shoot someone in the damn head than you are.”

“Rya-”

“Ah- no, not even Ryan.” Geoff was rattling off a few auxiliary texts to the rest of the crew to let them know they had someone outside of the crew in the safe house, no threat. He emphasized that point heavily.

“Well then, who the fuck is he?” Michael asked, winding around Ray sitting in one of the plush chairs in the front room, his bag between his legs. He slunk into the kitchen, glaring at him the whole way. He only looked away to dig out a Red Bull from the fridge, cracking it open.

“He’s our sixth.” 

“What?!” The voices echoed the question as they both whipped around to look at Geoff.

“Yeah, good work fuckwads, you made me spill the surprise before the rest of the team got here. Happy?” Geoff quipped, brows a tight angry arch, mouth a thin line. He had his arms crossed over his chest and he was leaning with his back to the wall.

“You’re pulling my leg, right?” Ray spoke up, most of the shake gone from his voice now.

“Geoff, we don’t _need_ a sixth. We’ve got it all our bases covered already.” Michael protested, leaving his Red Bull on the counter to step into the front room, hoping to talk some reason into his boss.

“You don’t know what he can do and what I want him for, Michael. You’re not the boss here, _I am_. Cool the jets, sit down, and shut up. You’re not making a good impression on someone who’s gonna be part of the crew.” Geoff sighed, shaking his head, “After the shitfest with trying to bring Ryan into the crew, I thought I could do this amicably. Y’know, like fuckin’ adults, but you’re already going off the handle and acting like an asshole.”

Michael half turned to look at him, “Nooo, no! It wasn’t _that_ bad.”

Gesturing, Geoff’s face was starting to turn a little red, “You had a gun in his face! I almost had to replace my area rug because, fun fact, can’t get those sons of bitches dry cleaned.”

Still a bit meekly, justified given the way Michael had shoved a gun in his face, “You did kinda almost shoot my brains out, dude.” His laugh sounded just as nervous as he looked.

“Yeah, because this is _all my fault_ and none of this is on Geoff for not telling me to expect company!”

“Yes!” Geoff blurted, “Good lord, now he gets it! Yes this is on your head. You’re not weaseling your way out of getting your ass reamed for waving your gun around. This is _my_ apartment, and _my_ company, and _I_ invited him in, and you show up and nearly cap him!”

Michael paused, looking between the two of them for a moment, face scrunching up a bit. His voice was incredulous and almost nonchalant when he drew out, “Weeeeellll, I mean, when you put it that way _anybody’s_ gonna look bad.”

“Remind me to strangle your ass later.” Geoff grumbled, letting his arms drop, sighing as he walked into the kitchen to grab himself a beer out of the fridge.

Looking over the back of the chair, the rookie asked, “So I… I seriously got the job? Just like that?”

Geoff took a swig before gesturing over his shoulder with a thumb, “You want one?” When he shook his head, Geoff continued, “I saw what you can do, and I’ve been keeping watch out on you. Informants have been keeping me up to date on what you’ve been up to and you’ve got what it takes. We need a kid like you.”

Blinking quickly behind his glasses, he narrowed his eyes, “You’ve been stalking me?”

“Well, not me _personally_ , no. But I mean, yeah?” He answered sheepishly.

The three of them lapsed into silence for what felt like a millennia before he shrugged, “Alright then. Whoever you’ve got on recon’s good.”

The way Geoff relaxed was noticeable and made Michael snicker.

The door to the flat opened and two people stumbled inside, shutting the door behind them, smiling and laughing about something. A man and a woman, one with gold shades pushed up into his hair and a blue button up, the other a woman with ginger hair and a floral print shirt.

“Ey, there you guys are. Took you long enough. Where’s Rye?” Michael asked, finishing off his Red Bull and grabbing a beer.

“No idea, he should be on his way though. You texted him, right?” Jack asked, eyeing Ray up and down in the chair with an eyebrow raised. She didn’t say anything, but turned to look at Geoff for an answer to more than what she’d ask.

“Yes I texted him, nothing back. He’ll be here though. But since most of us are here, we’ll just fill him in. Whatever he’s doing, he’s too busy to text back.”

Hands dropped onto Ray’s shoulders from behind made him jump, looking up at Geoff quickly with a soft curse.

Geoff’s eyes were trained on Gavin and Jack since he’d already spilled the beans to Michael, the prick. “This is Ray Narvaez Jr. Tags as Brownman. He’s our sixth.”

Jack’s face lit up, “Eeey, there he is! Geoff told me he was scoping someone out, but didn’t imagine you’d be so young!”

“I’m twenty four.” Ray retorted, looking a tad defensive about it.

Gavin chuckled, “Why do you tag as Brownman? You’re not even brown, mate.”

Michael squawked, looking exasperated, “Oh my _god_ Gavin, you can’t just ask people why they’re white!”

“What? He’s not brown! Why would he tag as Brownman? His last name’s not even Brown!” Gavin gestured quickly, shoulders high and defensive.

“I’m the whitest boy you know, or, are being introduced to.” Ray commented, cutting in on the both of them arguing.

“You’re Puerto Rican, born American, visited as a kid. You speak Spanish fluently, less because you’re Hispanic and more because you lived in So Cal after you ran away from home, a little apartment in New York City. Amicable split between parents when you were an infant, no siblings, various cousins you adore. Even after running away from home, you still keep in touch with your mom and her parents.”

Ray turned to look up at Geoff, who had his arms crossed over his chest, head tilted just barely. The smirk under that ridiculous mustache was impossible to hide.

“How’d you know? What else do you know?” Ray demanded, standing up from his seat. There was no hostility in his voice, just wonderment.

“I told you I’d had someone trailing you, kid. You think that just means keeping a tally on when you jerk it and what you pick up at the grocery store?” Geoff waved him off, “I got more info on you than you do, I bet.”

“Geoff, you’ve got more information on all of us than we do,” Jack interjected, patting their boss on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it Ray. It comes off as creepy at first but it’s mostly just because he’s a huge mama bear and doesn’t like admitting to it, so this is how he shows his affection.”

“By being a creepy ass stalker who likes to beat horses that are so past dead they’re six feet under. Exhume and bludgeon, I always say.” Michael added, a smirk on his lips.

“Alright, alright, alright you cunts, cut out out. I do it for your and the crew’s safety. I’d rather know if someone had a peanut allergy or a broken wrist in the third grade from records than from your mouths because you lyin’ pricks won’t tell me the truth. You’re not gang members for nothing.”

“I prefer the term mob member,” Jack smiled, petting the curl of Geoff’s mustache. “Since I can’t have _boss_ and all.”

“I’m the boss.” Geoff piped up too quickly, batting her hand away from his face.

“Of course you are, dear.” Jack patted his cheek, leaving his side to wander into the kitchen with a smile on her face. It wasn’t hard to see with the way the two interacted that Geoff was more a figurehead for the actual boss. Geoff was the boss, sure, but she ran the show.

“Ray, show Michael and Gav what’s in your bag.” Geoff nodded towards him, then down at his bag that had been between his feet in front of the chair.

Brow knit, he blinked a few times before he caught on, nodding quickly, “Alright guys, today’s haul!”

He picked it up, unzipping it to dump it out over the coffee table. Out of it spilled all assortments of wallets and a few purses. A pistol and an extra magazine. Four lighters, a couple rolled baggies of weed and a pipe.

Ray stammered quickly, “Uuuuh, those aren’t mine! I’m holding them for a friend. I swiped them from someone.”

Michael laughed, “Mine now then!” And scooped up the pipe and one of the baggies.

“No wait- I was kidding, they are mine! Gimme those.” Ray corrected himself, reaching for what Michael had swiped, “I just didn’t want you guys to come down on my ass if you weren’t drug friendly or whatever- give those back! It’s the only pipe I’ve got on me.”

He held it out of Ray’s reach while Gavin picked up the pistol, looking it over. It wasn’t loaded, but it was a hot pink. He chuckled, “Is _this_ yours?”

With a hand on his face as he reached for what Michael had stolen, he looked back, hands still flexing to get what he’d lost, “Yeah, that’s mine. Got a problem with it?”

“It’s bloody pink, man.” Gavin giggled, snickering as he set it back down.

“So is my sniper rifle. So?” Ray had stopped moving to get what Michael stole, and instead turned to scoop up all the lighters, smirking defiantly, “Ha! I’ve got all the fire. Blaze up with my weed now.”

Michael pulled a lighter out of his pocket, wiggling it in between his fingers with a heavy smirk on his lips, on eyebrow raised. He absolutely felt cocky.

“Okay, I should have seen that one coming.” Ray pouted, “At least share, bro. Initiate a brother into the mob and share his stash.”

Jack had crouched by the table to rifle through the purses and wallets, speaking up against all the banter and fighting amongst the younger members of the crew, “You did this all today?”

Ray turned to look at her, looking over his haul, “Uh, yeah! Better pull than most days, but I was downtown. Keeps the lights on and those dollar burgers comin’, y’know?”

“There's gotta be at least fifteen credit cards in here and a stupid amount of cash.” Jack marveled, smiling up at Geoff. He nodded to her, smiling at the kid in the stupid purple hoodie.

“Bonus, I never have to buy chewing gum again,” Ray smiled, turning at the sound of a lighter flick.

Geoff spoke up quickly, “Alright, not in the living room, you know better.”

Michael put his hands up innocently, weed and pipe gone from sight. He’d only been rolling the wheel, but the shit eating grin on his face, it was obvious he’d been looking for a reaction. He looked up when the front door to the apartment opened.

A broad shouldered man in a black skull mask and a leather bike jacket stepped around the corner and into the living room. Ray stared with wide eyes, the gears in his head turning quickly, quicker than they should have and he spat out, “By the power of Greyskull.”

Without missing a beat, and with a voice muffled by the mask, Ryan answered, “I haaave the pooooweeeer~”

Ray couldn’t help but crack a laugh, “Holy shit, that’s incredible.”

Gav popped up from where he’d been sitting on the floor sorting wallets and purses with Jack, “Ey, you’re late!”

Geoff who’d plopped his ass down on the arm of the chair to oversee things had both brows raised, “What took you so long?”

Ryan reached up, pulling the mask up and off his head, letting his ponytail shake free and holding the mask under his arm like a motorbike helmet. Sweat made his facepaint run a little, the black and red and white melding a little. “I got caught in traffic.”

Jack asked over her shoulder without looking up from her work, “How many squad cars did you take out?”

“Only two.”

“Armored truck?” Michael asked from behind Ray.

“Nah, I backed out on the bike and hit a fender and he and his buddy got pissy. I got pissy right back.” Ryan gestured to Ray with his free hand, “Pickpocket. Tagger. Informant?”

“Sixth member of the crew!” Gavin chimed in, and when Ryan turned to look at Geoff, the man nodded in confirmation.

Ryan stepped up, offering his hand out, facepaint not much better than the skull mask when it came to intimidation. As it was, it did it’s job pretty damn well and Ray almost wished he’d put the mask back on. He swallowed hard and looked from the hand to Ryan’s face again. The man chuckled, smiling enough to bare a few teeth from the corner of his lips, looking down at his own hand, “What? Never shaken hands before?”

Ray’s eyes went wide and he grabbed for the hand, shaking it with both of his, nervousness fueling a fake enthusiasm. He licked his lips and let go as soon as he saw he was pulling Ryan’s arm around.

The man, taller and wider and bigger than Ray in probably every conceivable way looked over his head at Geoff, “He’s kind of,” eyes flicked down at Ray and then away again, “well, he looks like he’s gonna piss himself.”

Geoff stood with a soft groan, clapping Ray on the shoulder, leaning on him, “Kid’s had a rough day.” He jostled him gently, “Michael had a gun in his face as soon as he walked in the door, and then you’ve got Gavin and Jack, and then you walk in with the mask and the facepaint and the brick shit house thing going on.” He patted Ray’s back, addressing him, “Good work _not_ pissing yourself.”

“Wait for your first heist, boi!” Gavin piped up from the table. They’re already managed to gut the wallets and purses. Piles of cards and cash, even some foreign bills, rings of car keys, photos, punch cards, gum, chapstick, and more bits and bobs that couldn’t be categorized strewn across the table. The belongings from the bag they could only assume were Ray’s had been set aside, his gun and weed and assorted accessories.

“Welcome to the team then- uh…” Ryan paused, looking him over, and then Geoff over Ray’s shoulder.

“R-Ray! It’s Ray.” He blurted his name, looking between Geoff and Ryan, eyes staying trained on Ryan. “My name’s Ray.”

Reaching up, Ryan ruffled his hair a little, “Well, welcome to the team, Ray.” He stepped past him and farther into the high rise apartment, catching a fist bump from Michael before he plucked a pack of gum off the table and disappeared into the kitchen.

Geoff leaned in, elbowing him gently and muttered quietly, “He’s got a big cock too.”

Ray choked on his inhale in surprise and the rest of the crew, _his crew_ , lost their shit laughing at him.


End file.
